**
As Forever My Girl opens, Josie (Jessica Rothe) is only minutes away
from marrying Liam Page (Alex Roe), and in case you don’t notice her
excitement, her country-girl “charm” will definitely
make sure to remind you. A tragedy of sorts occurs when the groom decides not
to show up. Fast forward eight years, and the would-be groom becomes a musical superstar.
I’m sorry, but you can’t seriously make me believe for one second that a
small-town country boy would
be that easily swayed by the glitz and riches of stardom that he would completely skip out on his wedding
without telling anybody.
Ten or so minutes in and I’m
already flabbergasted by the utter ineptitude of Forever My Girl. Little did I expect a plot point this important
would become a disgusting scapegoat – more on that later.
There is a half-baked explanation
in the film’s final stretch what exactly happened on the would-be wedding day,
which still begs me to ask – if this turn of events occurred this suddenly, wouldn’t he at least
call? Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t be thrilled either if my wedding had to be
cancelled this second, but something's better than nothing. As events unfold, Liam was apparently quite respectable once upon a time.
But that was then. Now, Liam is a country
musician at a laughable level of stardom. He can’t have a simple
conversation with anybody without everybody having an orgasm by simply being in his presence.
When he goes for a stroll down the sidewalk, it turns into a full-blown sprint
when his fans chase him down relentlessly. Of course, you can’t be a star
without being a complete egomaniac. So, there’s Liam, tossing his towel in his
manager’s face and other such typical star behavior. At one point in the film,
Liam has to be reminded how to wash dishes.
Did I mention that Forever My Girl is supposed to be a
drama?
While on tour, Liam discovers
that his best friend is killed in a car accident. He drops his tour plans and heads
home for the funeral. The catch: this is the kind of small town where everybody
knows everybody. There are going to be nothing but unhappy faces greeting Liam,
and he knows it. One of those unhappy faces is Josie and the daughter he never
knew he had, Billy (Abby Ryder Fortson), who is seven years old but talks and
has the vocabulary and with of somebody ten years older. Maybe it’s trying to
be charming. Does the tone of this review suggest it worked?
Indeed, Liam is confronted. Again, and again, and again. Apparently, to leave your small-town life for a life of stardom (a dream for
almost everybody) is a crime worthy of exile. Yeah, how dare he move on from
small-town life and pursue something more exciting. It was getting to the point
where I almost completely forgot about Liam’s mishap and ended up having
unconditional sympathy for him.
Defenders of Forever My Girl (and there will be very
few, if any) will cry out that “But wait! They’re mad because he stood his fiancée
up!” Skipping out on your fiancée’s wedding isn’t exactly the hip thing these
days, I completely agree. Plot twist: that little “disgusting scapegoat” I
mentioned? Well, lo and behold.
Forever My Girl is not the kind of movie I’d go out of my way to see
otherwise, so I might as well sit through the rest of this thing (damn you,
film criticism aspirations), and what I got, aside from the questionable values of small-town life, is TV-grade melodrama complete with insultingly
predictable contrivances, and idiotic ones at that. I can live with Josie deciding to give Liam a second chance, but there comes a point where she gives him a third chance. Without spoilers: for her to give Liam a third chance after the weight of a particular incident (you'll know the one), Josie really needs to rethink what she looks for in a man.
I wish I could articulate more, but there's nothing to articulate on. It resembles a factory-fed attempt at appealing to the masses without concern for what makes said appeals, well, appealing.
You may have noticed that Forever My Girl managed to get away with
two stars, so there are clearly saving graces. There’s nothing Oscar-worthy
here, but everybody involved at least put everything they were capable of, and
it does show. Even with her dialogue stripped of all believability, there is an
adorability to Abby Ryder Foster. Speaking of her, there is actually a really
charming scene between Billy, Liam, a carton of ice cream, and perhaps some
hidden guitar talent in Billy waiting to shine.
The country music angle is
perhaps the one reason to watch Forever
My Girl, if that’s your thing. The music is surprisingly tolerable, and
this is coming from somebody who finds the genre commonly insufferable. Otherwise, there is absolutely zero reason to watch this. No original ideas,
no interesting characters, nothing of significance to offer. I won’t spoil the
ending, but once you see the movie, allow me to ask: what is there to spoil,
really?
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