Please excuse me for opening on a rather morbid note; celebrity deaths almost never phase me. I assure you it doesn't come from any kind of place of heartlessness. It's just that I can only be so impacted by the death of somebody I never knew, even if I adored their output. Yeah, it is truly unfortunate that they won't be around to bless the world with whatever artistic gift they have, but at least we've got what we got from them. For me, I simply pick myself up and move on. With that said, I woke up on the morning of April 4th, 2013 to the shattering news. Roger Ebert had died.
My jaw hit the floor and my breath became nonexistent. I swear I could even feel the world physically becoming smaller, even if it was only by a slight bit. On this day, five years have passed. I have picked myself back up, but there is a space that Ebert left that nobody else can ever fill.
"Siskel and Ebert" was a little before my time, so I never grew up on the show, though I do watch a lot of it on YouTube. However, I have always been watching movies. From my young days of renting VHS tapes from Hollywood Video to my teenage days of avid DVD collecting, I feel like almost every movie I ever picked up always said "Two Thumbs Up!", and the names attached were Siskel and Ebert. Sometimes it was just Ebert. Seeing the name all of the time, it's hard not to be curious. I went to his website and started reading some reviews. I don't think I did anything else for the rest of the day.
The way he talked about film was like nothing I'd ever read or heard. His reviews were never "This Movie Was Good (or Bad) Because A, B, and C." Instead, he took you on a literary journey, and his feelings on whatever movie he was reviewing were expressed almost purely by the tone and style of his reviews. Whether he had a jolly good time with mindless popcorn entertainment, a profound experience that could only be described as spiritual, or one of the worst pieces of cinematic fecal matter in existence, Roger always knew how he felt, what to say, and how to say it. And most of the time, he was concerned purely with the movie, and politics and ethics were not of concern (though there are numerous exceptions, especially in his earlier reviews). He treated almost every film he saw fairly and always kept context in mind.
But there was something else there beyond his captivating style and clever wit. Let me put it this way: for as long as I could remember, I've always wanted to become a name in movies in some way. Believe it or not, one of the biggest reasons for me was to have a good chance to actually meet Roger. I can't begin to tell you how much our tastes in film align (I was rather relieved to find out I'm not the only one who didn't care for Full Metal Jacket), and what I would give to just sit down and talk movies with the man. Not to have some sort of history lesson on the French New Wave or Golden Era of Hollywood. Just sit down, BS, and geek out about movies. Five years ago, it hit me like a freight train: I will never, ever have that chance.
It's no secret that Roger is undoubtedly a huge influence on me; how I watch movies, how I analyze and interpret them, and how I review them. Hell, my writing style is greatly indebted to his. As far as film criticism goes, I've always looked up to Roger as my mentor, even if we never knew each other (on a physical plain, anyway). You know those old martial arts movies? Where the hero is left to fend for himself after the death of his teacher? That's how it really feels.
To this day, I still go to Roger Ebert's website and keep up with what his successors have to say about current releases. I want to say that I visit because if his successors are good enough for Roger, then they're good enough for me. Really, though, I think that it's because deep down in my being, I just hope to see one more review penned by Roger Ebert. I know that will never happen, so I make due with what I've got. I can't exactly say I'm happy with what I see, not because the critics on his site are bad writers, but because...I'm not exactly comfortable saying exactly why here, but go and read their review of Isle of Dogs (I stopped reading after the first paragraph). Granted, it's not always bad over there, but I just feel like nothing was learned as to why Roger was such a terrific critic.
Well, life goes on, and so must mine. Roger may not be with us anymore, but with all he has written over the years, I know I will always have his legacy to turn to and learn from. Maybe do yourselves a favor and watch one of his favorites for your next movie night. I know I will, so here's to you, Roger. We never knew each other, but I miss you dearly. I may not say it, but every piece I write for Red Eye is dedicated to you. See you at the movies.
Love,
Jakob
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